Remember the good ol’ days when people sent mail? A time when you could look forward to things being in your mailbox besides bills? Well, we’d like to bring those days back. Bill doesn’t always have time to answer emails from the wonderful people who write in. It usually doesn’t take very long to compose an email, but it DOES take a little dedication to write a letter, go buy yourself a stamp and mail that letter out at the Post Office. Therefore, if you send in a letter to Bill, he will try his best to answer anyone who writes in (and provides a return address). Additionally, the response you receive will be on an EXCLUSIVE postcard (which is shown at the bottom of the page). The only way to get said postcard is by writing Bill a letter.
Before we provide you with the address, please make sure to read the list below for some pointers on what to send and what NOT to send in to Bill. Please read it.
Some ground rules:
- Do NOT send anything in the mail that you would like to get back. This includes books that you want autographed, prints, posters and cats. Bill already has two too many cats.
- Do NOT send food in the mail… things rarely turn up in the mail exactly how they were when they were sent out. Cookies and other foods are among the many things that you don’t want to eat to discover whether they’re still good or will give you food poisoning.
- Do NOT send an invitation for something happening in a few weeks or a month or two… Bill’s schedule is really hectic and we often need a LOT more notice than that to make an appearance at something.
- Please make sure your handwriting is legible if you’re actually writing your letter. I think it’s absolutely wonderful that you’re writing with like, a REAL pen and stuff (or crayons or whatever…), but it’ll make it really awkward and difficult to know what you’re trying to say if we can’t actually read it. If someone has ever told you that your writing looks like chicken scratch, then you should probably consider typing your letter.
- Do NOT send scripts, portfolios or any type of professional work for Bill to look over. That’s a very big no-no. If anything like that turns up in the mail, it will immediately be thrown out. Seriously. Not only is this something that we definitely don’t have the time for, it’s also a big legal no-no. If you want to show your portfolio or something, bring it to a convention, but do NOT mail it to us.
- Please try to keep your letters a reasonable length. Like 1-2 pages. Please.
With those guidelines in mind, the address is:
P.O. Box 158